The morning after indeed...... The best birthday i have had in a long time. Missed my family and the elongated celebrations, but still had a blast.

  I was asked,"How does it feel to be 22?" and the only thought in my head was.. where the hell did the years 16 to 21 go, and how come i dnt feel like an adult yet. Birthdays are really, according to me, just a perfect excuse to be a jackass all day long and get away with it.... here i'd also like to add i did my darnest best to milk that fact all day.

  Here i am one day after and i am writing this stupid brain fart down which absolutly makes no sense whatsoever to anyone but me right now..... Well i definitly have come to one conclusion, i am not celebrating any birthday after 25. From there on end it will be 25a to 25z. If i outlive that I go onto 25z(i) onward. The options are quite frankly endless. Denial you say..... to that my reply is - DAMN STRAIGHT!!!!

  But then i realise, life can't always be a fun uni life. Where your only worry is, " can i get my assignement in, in time." Its really cool how you can stay on the uni campus and you might as well be on another planet. Nothing of the outside worldcan screw with your life as long you are on campus. Then you step out into the outside world and reality hits you like a tonn of bricks.

  One thing is for sure, this year was the most birthday wishes i ever got and from some people so unexpected i still am reeling from the unexpectedness of it.

  Well i think i should probably end this stupid unending rant and get on with some real work now. And if you actually did read through the whole thing and have anything to say, say it. For the positive comments, thnks a milion. For the negative, see if  care..... quite frankly i don't. Not that old yet.

 

 A year on and another birthday appraoches. A year older and hopefully wiser..... There are so many things in mind right now but some the connections between fingers and brain are so scrambled that even a million car pile up would be an understatement to the fact..... my brain is screaming and my hands are deaf ... or at least doing a good job pretending to be deaf.

 The end of a relationship.... the start of new friendships... new goals ... and new sucesses. The trees, the birds, the animals.... the sky....its all perfect. Finally i feel like i am here and this is where i am suposed to be.

 My first dress..... the first amazing reaction to my dress....my first druken lawn party and the stupidity of druken people ( my advice is being sober during this period... its wicked funny to point and laugh at the druken antics..... i speak from experience.... afterall u remember all and get to rub their face in it for days.... WICKED!) ...... my first dive into the ocean... my first sight of the coral reef.... my first assignment... my first week off... so much.... so much fun.

 Never since childhood did  think work and studies could actually be fun.... being a geek cud actually be so easy and so COOL.....oh god! nothing's coming out the way i want it to...... so much to say.... no nervous coordination to say it!

  A year on and i am soo soooo sooooo happy.... i finally know wat i want and how to get it.... touch wood!

 

 

 

 The rain drops hanging from branches, giving the illusion of frost........ the moonlight shines through them making it seem like my own personal wonderland. The unimaginable beauty paled only by the beauty of the night sky, stained in an amazing shade of violet and pink.

 How beautiful.....and how lonely.... how heartbreakingly and utterly alone. Times of old and fun now far away...never to return again. Hopes of meeting again and reliving the past gathering a frenzied insistance in their utter impossibility.

 A distant, yet heartfelt memory returns to haunt the mind........ two friends dancing in the rain while a third sits by, watching and waiting.....anticipating the very next occurance......"God! I am so cold! Its so cold...do something!!." .....yup right on target. dats just wat she was anticipating......

 Another memory visits, infringing on this memory.... two of the three friends....sitiing in another picturesque downpour.... not a single word passes between them... both sitting there together bound to each other and yet both were somewhere far away.....both tied to each other with the rain, the cigarettes and each other.....

 Well its another day today... and the night must go on...... dinner beckons and I must heed its calls. Hopefully tomorrow won't be as hard.... hopefully tomorrow it won't rain..on my heart..... hopefully...

 

  This was an incident that occured when I was at my interview at the Singapore Zoo. As I finished and was leaving toward the bus stop (yes I use public transport... u have a prob?), I see this beautiful woman with a stroller in front of her. Since I was looking at her from an angle I could not see the ocuupant (..or occupants in this case) of the strolley. So I continue on and just then this earth shattering shrill shreak ensues from the stroller ( its the end of the world ... take cover).So I walk over to see if she needs helps, and lo & behold, there I see triplet cranky little midgets of the female gender, in all its tantrum throwing glory.
 
  She( the mom that is) looked up at me with a, at first relieved, then pleading, look, so I ran over to help. BAD IDEA! I went and picked up two of the angry princesses and the next thing I know they are trying to make me revert to skin-headedness. The incessant pulling!!! The bigger problem was they had learned to grab, not ungrab and my obvious displeasure was upsetting them into a crying frenzy. So now I had two wailing and squirming babies in my arms, whom I could not place down, as it would mean losing the hair on both sides of my scalp, and could not keep in my arms, cause it would mean the same fate with the hair .... and permanent deafness(SIGH! ... talk about catch 22.).

Thankfully mom got the first one to behave by then and helped relieve me of one very painfully upset baby(painfully being the key word here), so I was able quieten the other bawling mess. Once all three were feeling more human, thankfully, my illusive-until-then bus made an appearance. In the hurry to get in I walked right into the door, but damned if I waited there a second longer for those three to start again(they were definitly books u could never ever judge by their covers). So I picked myself up and jumped in and breathed only after the bus moved.

Phew! Wat an experience! Ah well! It was fun i have to admit, after all i AM a little bit of a sadist. But then who isn't.

 The blood pulsed through his viens and every wave was heard like that of the ocean against the walls of her heart, tugging and urging on. She had two choices.... flee and let him  die or steal his life to make him live for her.

 In that dark night her teeth sank into that soft pulsating tender flesh at the base of his strong neck........ taking from him what was his and replacing it with something that was hers. At once the gesture was both distant and more personal than any other physical contact she had ever had in her life before or after the endless night came on.

 He knew what she was doing.... his silent screams inside his head telling her, begging her, to stop were not heard by her. He tried to push her away, but he had neither strenght nor were those haunting magical eyes letting him pull away. How was one to even think of pulling away from those tiny flames in her eyes? He was helpless... even as her fangs pierced him and stole from her.... even her thick and warm blood entered him, burning him to his very core...... even as welcome and hopeful darkness stole over him.... even as his soul cried...

 Ah! He is so perfect!.... now he is all mine and I am all his... for all of eternity.... He has my gift of eternal life....."Come My love! We must find you somethin to feast on." ...He will be a feared, fierce and great one among us.

 AAAAH!...... The unimaginable PAIN! oh! how my heart and soul burn!..... She belives she gave somethin i truly desire ... Oh, how I hate her! but those eyes and that face .... How I love her!.... To my first meal in eternal darkness and despair... Alas! If only I had died and not this pityful being in my arms!

   Many thoughts flitter through the mind's eye..... in that place just before reality and just after dreams...... was that really my car.... i just HAVE to get that job........ am i flying ....... the grades better be good after this exam..... why is there a sound of a river in my room.....

  Then just a peek from that world to this...... its morning...... its raining.... its gorgeous outside...... the old tropical trees ... all wet and dripping like pearls from the leaves..... the tiny puddles of water, with the occasional bird fluttering in and out..... the natural "Bird bath Expressway".......  the grass is such a gorgeous green..... the sun still shy and peeking.... almost as if not wanting to disrupt my plaesure till i am good and ready.

  That reminds me.... what time is it?..... oh Shit!.... its 9 o'clock..... i'm so so so so late....... oh damn the treacherous sun!.... damn! damn! damn!....... Nate must be waiting and oh..... he will be drenched and mad...... he must hate me.... he will leave and never spaek to me...."WHERE THE THE OTHER DAMN SHOE?"....... ARGH! here it is .... okay run out now... and down.... thats the handphone... where is it .....

  "Hello! Sorry!"..... "What for? for standing you up, dats wat for."......."What?!!"..... "Don't kid with me! damn!"..... back now ..... back home..... i can't believe it was for tomorrow...not today... open the door.....

  Fuel! i need Fuel!..... the coffee maker is on..... aaah! the refreshing smell... the gorgeous first sip... where's the damn handphone now.... "Nate? you wanna come over for some coffee?......okay!"...... finally! ..... its gonna be okay now.......make breakfast ... is that the door?... no! its the damn handphone again..... "Hello?".... "Bess? wassup?".... "I was what!".... shit!.... damn! ....... shit!.....it was Bess and not Nate .... call...... "Nate! i gotta go. Don't come over rite now, I'll explain later."... shit!.... damn!..... shit!....... run......

  There she is ... shit!... she is soaked to the skin.... "Bess... Sorry!"...."I mean it! Truly!"...... "here got u some dry clothes".... "...i know..."....."How about breakfast?My treat."....Sigh! finally!.....

 Its been a long time since i wrote ..... can feel the cogs in the old brain rusted and unyielding to anything sensible.... so i decide to just continue typing evrything and anything that comes into the mind.

  Its weird and surreal to be in a new place and call it home and realise that you are so far away from all that actually is home to you... the friends, the crushes, the college, the bus even..... all different.... there i was the person among the majority.... here i am the outsider the one looked at differently, the one that looks different, speaks difefrent....... only thing that hasn't changed...... i am still teh wierd and different girl.

  The one with the deadpan and sarcastic sense of humour, the loud and open laugh, the i-don't-give-a-damn attitude (which mom likes to call the Cool Cat), the wierd sense of style and dressing.... wow, that is a lot of different... mebbe its not all that different..... mebbe i am just thinking of it differently.... well, whatever...

  The stomach now proceed to growl.... must go refuel so this crappy piece of writting has its fate being rapidly sealed in my head.. should it stay or go.... stay....... mebbe not its too shitty.... go ....... oh well what the hell it can stay... after all if no one likes it there is always the comments section to rave and rant in.... after all it a free world.

hey hey hey...
hey folks ... so finally i am done with the tirsome examinations.... but then come the dreadful problem of moving home...
anyways i will put up some stuff anywayz...
apps